© 2011 Becca. All rights reserved. IMAG0612

When do you call the Firemen?

If there is a blaze, yes immediately I know. But when do you call them out for one of those “odd” jobs… pussycat up tree scenario.

As the renovation continues the jobs list snowballs (bear with me, you need the background!). The bathroom ceiling light was hideous and emitted a glow so feint that candles were of better use so, we had Electrician cut three new holes in the stud (as we discovered) ceiling and fitted new downlighters. Let there be light! However, suddenly there was a very perfect, very bare plaster circle in the very centre of said ceiling. A ceiling previously decorated in a very slightly patterned lining paper. A ceiling that we didn’t have any intention of stripping and renewing, especially as it now involved the removal of three new downlighters!

Electrician (friend) welcomed us into his home that evening for food and whilst on the loo I gazed up to his ceiling and the Eureka moment struck. Our circle was, by pure chance, the exact diameter of an in-roof speaker. This was the solution. We would copy Electrician and pump music into the plaster hole, and sex up the flat finish all at the same time. Hoorah.

A few days later Electrician returned and commenced the cutting of the speaker hole, which involved Joiner and more of the bank account as we cut through stud joists. In order to get cable from one wall to another any electrician must ‘fish’ using bendy poles, from one hole to another, and pull them through with cable attached. In order to save money and help Electrician friend Other Half became an apprentice and the team worked very well.

In the midst of fishing session came a whimpered yelp from atop the ladder in the kitchen. Which, obviously, Electrician and I just ignored. We assumed Other Half was just squirming as he tried desperately to find the fishing rod. And then the yelp got a little louder and sounded a little more struggling, and as Electrician and I both lifted our gaze up to the ceiling Other Half muttered, ‘I am stuck’.

Electrician and I did as you would do and started to giggle, then chortle and then laugh un-controllably at the sight of a man with his arm stuck deep inside a ceiling up to his armpit. Until the whimper became a little more shrill and we realised oh, you are stuck. And so I ask, how long do you wait before calling the firemen who so expertly rescue things that are stuck.

A total of five minutes past with Other Half trying to un-stick his arm and more specifically his thumb which was wedged against something solid and in navigable. In the back of my mind I wondered how long it took for a limb to drain of blood and give up pumping it back to ones’ extremity.

But in typical ’999′ programme style a sudden twist allowed his arm to slip back out of its’ plaster case and return to the body of the kitchen. The laughter commenced… until he got it wedged into the bathroom ceiling an hour later.

“You must accept, risk comes with moving forward”, said one NASA engineer as the American Space Programme closed this week. In order to have the luxury of sound booming from the ceiling of a 3m square bathroom, one must face losing a limb in the process.





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