© 2011 Becca. All rights reserved. small+toothpaste

The Tooth Fairy

The Tooth Fairy keeps visiting. In a very keen and very helpful manner every time I leave her precious quarry out she duly appears during the night and squirrels the glory away. However, she never leaves cash because I am not feeding a tooth habit, I am feeding a gypsy metal fetish.

It all began with a cooker, a hideous, broken, entirely defunct Creda white electric number. A true white good. After harrumphing it down 41 stairs, without ripping into the plastic protected carpet or wallpaper, (no I didn’t carry it, was it that obvious) she sat happily basking in the three days of Scottish summer to which we were treated.

Creda slowly gathered friends, namely the kitchen cabinets, bathroom floor and all carpets. The junk from our two cellars very kindly left behind by the Seller came out to play and joined the fun in the sun also. A happy, ready-for-the-dump group enjoyed a full weekend of outdoor merriment before Creda abandoned the team for pastures new.

It happened overnight, in the very literal dead of night (we left at 11.45pmsih and she was still with us) they came and they took her away. This was no mean feat, the Tooth Fairies (she isn’t light) carefully removed all of the kitchen detritus smothering her every side, gently moved the old dead pot plants sitting  in replace of pans, re-stocked the space left in her wake to ensure the tall pile of kitchen carcass didn’t collapse in a very noisy heap and swept the dusty rememenants back into the heap. No, seriously!

My gypsies are apparently renowned.  In discussion with the wonderful Plumber (see ratedpeople.com) they apparently cruise the west of the city collecting scrap metal – carefully – in order to secure the meagre £200 per tonne of metal our local scrappy currently proffers.

It shouldn’t be but it is now my favourite game, I bait the pathway with treasure to see if they can – carefully – find it. And they always – carefully – succeed. Last night Creda’s space was taken by Hoover, sadly as speculated he is simply too plastic for the Tooth Gypsy Fairies to care, but the long, thin, twisted line of lead I wrapped around Hoover did go! As did the three metal drawer runners buried – carefully – beneath cardboard boxes. Not only is this wholly entertaining it has also saved me two council uplifts at a cost of £25 each and the hassle of loading it into a car and dumping it personally by hand.

People have told me this is a dangerous little game and it very possibly is. But no Fairy who takes that much care to remove rubbish (!!) could possibly be a thieving, strip-iron-from-churches bad person. And besides, my roof is three stories up and was replaced in March with new flashing and plastic watergates. There is safety in non-precious-material.


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